very localized

Don't gasp at me, people.

Please. 

When you see my belly, just ... you know ... smile and say "You look great!" 

Today, two different co-workers who haven't been in the office in months gasped audibly at me and squealed, "Omigod!" They both clasped their hands over their mouths. Multiple others have used the word "rotund" to describe my torso or asked  "Are you sure its not twins?" 

Yeesh. I know that nobody is trying to be mean but you're freaking me out!!! Is my size really gasp-worthy? 

For fuck's sake.

Thankfully, one of my engineer girlfriends made up for it all by describing my belly in clinical, rational terms as "very localized."