I'll show you some braxton-hixie

Yesterday at the gym, after finishing my pathetically short and unstrenuous swim workout, I stood at the end of the lane stretching and simultaneously feeling jealous of my lane neighbor who, as evidenced by her huffing and puffing, was in the middle of a nice hard training session.

As I listened and stretched, I looked forward to the day when I could push my limits in the pool - not advisable when you're 36 weeks pregnant - when my reveries were interrupted by this very woman gasping beside me:

GW: "Are you OK?"

What?

Me: "Yeah. I just can't do the workout I used to."

GW: "You were breathing heavy."

I was breathing heavy? Me? Are you projecting?

GW: "And you looked kind of Braxton-Hixie."

What does that mean? How does one look Braxton-Hixie*? Is that perceptible to the human eye?

Me: "I'm fine. Thanks for asking."

Shut up, Butt-inski.

* Braxton-Hixie presumably refers to the condition of having Braxton-Hicks contractions. These are also referred to as "practice" contractions that happen throughout pregnancy but increase in frequency and intensity toward the end of gestation.