the tiny space we occupy

Oh we are so small. So very very puny.

This is something that has never really scared me ... my insignificance in the universe. Either I don't really comprehend it ...

Or I understand better than most and have come to accept it in a way that most people have not (aren't I great?) ...

Or my personal attitude about the whole thing (which is "who gives a shit, really.") makes it easy to ignore the consequences.

But to stay authentic, I will just hang by my personal attitude which is who gives a shit, really. I mean, my life is significant to me. And I'm the only one who really matters.

Ha ha!

Seriously though. I am.

I mean, you are too.

To you.

But.

Maybe ...

I guess I'd need to have indepth interviews with people who do feel uncomfortable about their insignificance in the universe to "really understand" them but ... maybe these people believe that their life should have significance outside of themselves. Maybe that is the problem, the scary part of feeling like a molecule in the universe.

Whereas I, who have suffered from the most absurd narcissitic wounding and worry constantly about what other people are thinking about me, have never actually believed that what they were thinking was actually important in the Big Picture. It is kind of an absurd contradiction. I waste a TON of energy on that day-to-day, but never was fooled into thinking that it meant something in the history of the universe.

It's like if I had been fretting over the way some counter girl smirked at me and someone had said to me "The whole of human existence is just the blink of an eye in the history of the universe." I would have said "Oh yeah, great. But why was that girl so RUDE to me!?!"

Because really in the universe of one human existence, only the individual moments count. Of course, it might be a shame to waste any of them fretting over a counter girl's smirk but perhaps they are better spent that way than getting bogged down in how depressingly unimportant your finest moment is in the Grand Scheme of Things.

Here's another way to look at this ... if human existence is the blink of an eye, how many existences are you blinking in and out of being every day of your life? Consider the possibility that YOU are a complete universe, that you started with a big bang (wink, wink), that you are infinite and constantly expanding. That in your anonymity and insignificance you have the chance to make the tiny space you occupy into something absolutely spectacular for yourself.

Every moment, every millisecond, your universe recreates itself. Every moment is a renewal, a new opportunity, an eternity, the only thing that is real.