Wednesday, July 26, 2006

well, duh!

I hate to break this to you right after the birth of your second child Marcus, but you're gay.

Now to interpret your fear ....

(stop scowling, I'm just fucking with you!)

Scorpions wander alone in the desert jabbing their stingers at baby mice and spiders. Or they get into your house and hide in dark places like your shoes or the crotch of your pants and when you put them on, they sting the shit out of you ...

Ah! OK. As a writer, you need solitude to jab at the baby mice and spiders in your brain. You also need dangerous adventures to write about. And you see your home life as a threat to that, but you also see yourself and your need for solitude as a threat to your home life. Hmmm???

Mandy, I'll get to the fear of death in general in a later post.

Anonymous, one of your greatest desires is to be the best possible mix of child and adult. Your fear of being thought of as stupid or pretentious is a fear that you are too much of a child (ie stupid) or too much of an adult (ie pretentious)

Chadwick, the tornado thing is too easy. You're a tornado. Your mind, heart, and spirit are all whirling frenzies of information, energy, and passion which are fun as shit but scare the crap out of you at the same time.

Disfigured/lost baby is harder. Maybe the Zens would say that baby is a reflection of you and you're afraid of losing yourself (because disfigurement is a form of loss of self because you are no longer recognizable). And of course all of that is just your natural desire to join the ego-less void.

You're probably thinking, "No. I'm really worried about my baby."

To which I say, "I know, dood. I'm just messing around!! I don't know what the hell I'm talking about!"

And last but not least ... Gosh, Matt, I'm flattered!


Blogger Marcus said...

Hey! No fair, you're just using what you know about my life and making the round peg of writer's insecurity fit into the square hole of a scorpion. How's that for Freudian?

Anyway, I think you had it right on with the gay thing... my children and gorgeous wife are just ways of rationalizing and keeping myself in denial, this being the reddest of the red states...

On some level I knew it all along.

Uh oh... baby's crying (no, really!)


10:10 AM


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