Thursday, July 13, 2006

it is a jungle in here

Job job job of the jungle
Strong as it can be
Job job job of the jungle
Watch out for that tree!

Am I the only person here who rewrites the lyrics to stupid songs so that they apply to my life? Don't ask me how jungles, strength, or trees apply to my job - I have no idea.

But if you do ask I'll make something up and then you'll really think I'm an ijit.

Here's another self-helpism that makes me want to strangle someone (namely whoever says it to me). When you've got a problem of some sort and it is driving you nuts and you can't figure out what's gone wrong or what to do about it so you keep checking with people and talking through all the details and hoping someone can provide you with some insight about it and absolutely nothing anybody says provides any kind of enlightment or relief from your suffering and then some jackass says ... "What part of you wants that to happen?"

What!? What did you say??? Wants it to happen? Are you insane? Do you want to get knocked upside the head? Wants it to happen? What's wrong with you?

It is actually a variation on "Wherever you go, there you are" insofar as they mean "This is your fault." If it is something that happens repeatedly, people (especially therapists) ask you "What is the pay off for you?"

Pay off? Fuck off.

But when we're paying someone $100/hr to ask these questions, we sometimes feel the need to give them a moment's consideration.

Sooooo ... what is the payoff for:

* working at a job that makes you miserable?
* volunteering for an organization that is run by people who drive you nuts and won't listen to you?
* having a significant other who is a cheater?
* spending alot of time with people who don't seem to like you very much?
* ______________________

Some of the above are recent or ongoing problems of mine. Some are old hat. Some I have answers for; I know what the payoff is or was.

And for some, I've racked my brain ... I've burned it with hot coals, stuck bamboo shoots under its fingernails, removed its teeth with pliers, water boarded it, sleep deprived it (definitely sleep deprived it), left it in solitary confinement, forced it to listen to The Eagles for 24 hours straight while sitting in a stress position, and nothing. It is still not talking.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what the pay off is.


Blogger ryan said...

Freud said that our biggest fears were just our unconscious desires. Even people who had claimed to have been molested (he only counseled women) as children, he said were lying and were projecting a fantasy of being molested into a fake memory.

Freud was so full of shit.

10:00 AM

Blogger zen imbecile said...

I mostly buy the first half, that our biggest fears are our unconscious desires. I try to live by that but it is difficult when you're scared out of your wits.

The other part, about memories, is a different story altogether.

1:30 PM

Blogger Stacy said...

I don't have a secret desire to fall off a tall building, that is my biggest fear. Freud was very much a product of his time and imho he both simplifies things and makes us sound more complicated than we are.
We're trained from a young age in how to act/think/be and we learn by example from the time we're born.
There is no good answer to why we do what we do. That's why it's fun to just turn off the autopilot switch and mix things up a bit.

7:07 AM


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