living with a writer

I try to explain to her that the writer is the duelist who never fights at the stated hour, who gathers up an insult, like another curious object, a collector's item, spreads it out on his desk later, and then engages in a duel with it verbally. Some people call it weakness. I call it postponement. What is a weakness in the man becomes a quality in the writer. For he preserves, collects what will explode later in his work.


- Anais Nin to June Miller about Henry


(Thanks to Karen for quoting this first.)


This habit of postponing and collecting is not something I'm proud of. It makes life difficult for me and for the people I love. I want to be communicative, open, and understanding. But I also want to take things in and thrash them out in my head and on paper for awhile before taking them out again. I want to understand what they are and what they mean before I let them go.