thanks, shithead

According to astrologer Rob Brezny, the world is conspiring to shower us with blessings. I've heard other people claim that the universe is designed with our happiness in mind.

Does this warrant a swift kick in the crotch? Maybe.

Disregarding all the obviously miserable and tormented people in the world, I can look directly at my own unhappiness as evidence that these people are full of shit, right?

Maybe.

I mean ... well ... I know it's an absurd statement and everything but ... hmmm ...

How do I put this so I don't sound like a callous asshole? It's just that ... I can't speak for all the obviously miserable and tormented people in the world, but ... well ...

Sometimes things happen and ...

Sometimes, something happens and it seems like the end of the world ... I'm not talking about the obviously miserable people; I don't know what it is like for them. I'm just mildly wretched.

But sometimes, things don't work out the way you planned them, but the outcome is exactly what you wanted. Or after something crappy happens, you get enough distance from it or enough time passes and you can see that things worked out exactly the way you needed them to.

A few examples from my mildly wretched life ...

First how things work out even when they don't work out the way you planned: I got sent to Rome for work several years back. A friend of mine lived there for six months and she told me about a Iranian guy called Sammy who ran a pizza joint across the street from her apartment. Sammy was a very friendly guy who took her out and showed her the town without making any passes at her (very rare in Rome). She told me how to find his pizza place.

The instructions involved getting off at the Spagna (The Spanish Steps) metro stop but I spaced out and missed it so I had to get off at Barberini instead and walk back. At the top of the Spanish Steps, I was accosted by an extremely rude artist who wanted so desperately to sketch my portrait that he cursed me when I finally walked away from his easel. Then I got lost trying to find my friend's old street and was about to give up when a little man who looked like Bob Hoskins approached me at a street light and asked me something in Italian. I said "No parla Italiano." and he popped up in a bright little Cockney "Do you speak English, then?" Good lord, was it Bob Hoskins?

No. Just a guy who wanted directions to the Spanish steps. I pointed randomly behind me because I had no idea how to tell him where I'd come from. He sort of hinted that I should walk back with him and I said "No, I'm sorry but I'm looking for a friend of a friend." He asked more questions, but before I could finish my story, he'd cut me off with "Sammy? An Egyptian chap?? He's moved shops. I'll take you right to him."

(Yes, you're right, he was obviously lying about not knowing about how to get the Spanish Steps; he seemed to know Rome and its residents like the back of his hand.)

In short, if I hadn't missed the metro stop, been harassed by an angry artist, and gotten lost, I would've never bumped into Psuedo Bob Hoskins and therefore would've never found Sammy.

Next, how things work out even when it seems like your world is falling apart:

(believe it or not this story is shorter than the first)

(actually it is going to be really short; either I don't know you well enough or you already know everything anyways)

In 2000, I suddenly found myself alone for the first time in twelve years with a mortage I couldn't afford to pay and no job anyways. Most friends scattered to the four winds. One loved one was diagnosed with cancer and another died the day after Christmas.

One close friend did something pretty awful that started this downward spiral and imploded my life. For a full two years, I was pretty close to really wretched and I hated her. But while I suffered, I also started to rebuild my life practically from scratch.

Now, I couldn't imagine a life much better than the one I've got, and, frankly, I have her (and a few other shitheads) to thank for starting me on the path that got me here.

Is the universe designed with my happiness in mind? Is the world conspiring to shower me with blessings? I don't know but right now I'm pretty fucking happy.

Except for the whole job thing.

But I have to say ... reflecting on these two lovely twists of fate gives me pause ... what's going to happen next that could only happen thanks to this job? And how good will it ultimately be?