Monday, June 26, 2006

Party Politics (TM): The Board Game

Donkeys and elephants are kinda lame, don't ya think? Can we get different mascots? Vipers and pythons might be good.

Professional teams get name changes when a team gets a new owner. What about if the old owners just dump and run? Could you imagine that? An entire professional football team sitting in a dumpster behind a convenience store. Or a baseball team in the wastebasket of a high school bathroom after prom.

Ah, you're confused? I've run off somewhere without taking you with me ... I'm talking about dumping the political parties. And not just so we can get new mascots, although that's a fine reason among many.

Have you ever heard of a game where the sole object is to win not by moving forward but just to keep the other guy back? Have you noticed how often someone in Congress levels the charge of "playing party politics" against someone on the opposite side of the aisle?

It's alot.

We should make a count and see who wins that contest. It should be the team who did it least.

Right now, the Blue Elephants are playing most of the silly tricks on the field because they've got control of the ball. But the Red Donkeys have done their fair share when they've had the chance. Now they argue that they have to because they've "played fair" all this time and look where it got 'em.

I'm sorry, I don' t have time to research this in the time alotted (20 more minutes) but the Red team has not been a shining example of good sportsmanship in years past. And, more importantly, just because the Blue team has been particularly rascally over the last eight years is a bad bad bad reason for adopting their tactics in order to "win."

This is not a game, people! Snap out of it!!! Stop watching ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN3, ... ESPN87 or whatever the rest of 'em are called long enough to get the whole competition thing out of your head. This is NOT a game.

This is a country. With serious problems. That need to be fixed.

Our common goal is a three-parter - summed up nicely in the Declaration of Independence - Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Certainly different people have different ideas about how to achieve those things. And certainly it is easier to achieve those things legislatively if you've got more people on your side. But our efforts should be focused on acheiving those things, NOT on getting more people on our side or keeping more people away from the other side.

You're probably shaking your head right now and thinking, "Ah Imbecile, you're so delightfully naive. It is charming but pointless. You must grow up and face the reality of the situation. The _______s are bad dudes and must be stopped at all costs."


What a lame excuse for replacing hardwork, commitment, and integrity with misconduct, manipulation, and finger pointing.


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